Talking to kids when they need help

Helpful tips for starting a conversation and understanding what’s going on in the lives of your children and teens.

As parents and educators, you play a crucial role in supporting children and teenagers as their first line of help. Establishing an open channel of communication and fostering trust with them is vital. Encourage your children and teens to feel at ease seeking your guidance when they face challenges. Equally important is recognizing signs of emotional distress in them, as they often keep their emotions to themselves. They might not reach out for assistance because they may not realize it is an option. Therefore, parents and teachers must recognize when something is amiss and how to approach their children and adolescents. Engaging your children in meaningful conversations may seem daunting, but the following suggestions can assist in initiating dialogues and gaining insight into their lives.

Make them feel safe

To create a comfortable environment for kids and teenagers to communicate with you, it’s crucial to clarify the purpose of the conversation. Children, in particular, may worry about being in trouble or punished when approached for a talk. Reassure them that this is not the case and that your intention is to provide support. Parents could plan regular one-on-one discussions, like weekly or biweekly lunches, to foster open communication with their children or teenagers.

Listen to them

Make sure to actively listen to your child or teenager. Often, all they need is someone who will truly listen. Before giving advice, try to grasp their point of view. At times, your own anxiety may drive you to solve everything. However, in many instances, the most valuable support you can provide is attentive listening.

Affirm and support their need for help

If a child or teenager confides in you about feeling sad or upset, show them that you are proud of them for opening up. Acknowledge the bravery it took for them to share their emotions and for trusting you to support them. If it seems like your child requires more assistance than you can offer, seek guidance from a suitable professional. Consider reaching out to the school psychologist as a starting point.

Be genuine

Avoid relying on a script when communicating. Teenagers can sense insincerity. By being open, genuine, and at ease, you can encourage them to reciprocate the same authenticity.

Don’t be afraid to say I don’t know

As a parent or teacher, it’s acceptable to acknowledge that you may not have all the answers. Nevertheless, when a child or teenager poses a question, it’s important to make every attempt to provide a response or connect them with someone who can assist.

Warning signs of suicide: Suicide is preventable

The key steps to prevent suicide are identifying warning signs and seeking assistance. Signs to watch for may involve increased alcohol or drug consumption, a sudden decline in academic performance, or mentions of death or self-harm. If you suspect a child or student is in a crisis, dial 911 without delay and remain with them until help arrives.