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Creating Supportive Environments When Scary Things Happen
When frightening events occur or our lives are turned upside down, it can be difficult to find our footing and determine how to best support ourselves and our children. The way we organize our surroundings, whether at home or in transitional spaces, can foster supportive emotional atmospheres, ensuring that children feel safe and secure while also creating opportunities for bonding with them and other family members. Our goal is to establish a stable emotional environment in the midst of significant changes to our physical surroundings. These structures can assist families in regaining a sense of control, predictability, consistency, and connection, even when many factors are beyond our control. This resource provides guidance on actions you can take to help your family navigate through challenges.
ROUTINES
Routines foster predictability, reliability, and a sense of security. They create opportunities for connection, help to minimize challenging behaviors, and assist children during transitions. However, regular routines can often be disrupted during stressful times or crises. It’s important to think flexibly about any routines you can either restore or establish to support your child and family. For instance: strive to maintain a consistent daily structure, such as keeping wake-up and bedtime routines the same even when in different locations (like reading together or tucking in), sharing daily meals, and continuing outdoor activities (such as school or sports) as much as possible.
RHYTHM
Being mindful of both the daily rhythm and the rhythm of the child allows us to strike a balance between activity, social interaction, and rest, which in turn fosters emotional regulation, coping, and overall well-being. Whenever possible, incorporate periods of rest and activity, quiet time, and social engagement that align with your natural rhythm as well as your family’s. It’s easy to overlook the numerous transitions we experience each day and week. By minimizing these transitions or allowing more breathing room during them, we can significantly enhance our and our children’s energy and regulation. Consider innovative ways to restore a sense of natural rhythm to your family’s daily routine. Regularly assess your energy levels and mood throughout the day by asking yourself if you need a break, some stimulation, social connection, or solitude. Here are some examples: Maintain consistent bedtimes and wake-up times, carve out moments for quiet or active time for yourself, share a few moments of connection with your child each morning, engage in social activities, enjoy quiet time, watch a favorite TV show, spend time outdoors, dedicate time for exercise or movement, and create a little extra space to ease transitions.
RITUALS
Rituals are meaningful behaviors that are repeated in our personal, family, and community or cultural lives. They enhance our emotional experiences, both individually and collectively. Similar to routines, rituals establish predictable environments that foster security, connection, and a sense of belonging, contributing to overall well-being. Is there a ritual your family could create, or one you could continue if already established, to signify that you are all together and safe? Some examples include: singing a specific song, expressing gratitude at mealtime, offering a prayer or blessing, saying a particular phrase to your child each morning, having a tuck-in routine at bedtime, or engaging in a regular prayer or daily spiritual practice that resonates with your family.
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