10 tips for building resilience in children and teens

October 1, 2024
CenterForHealing
Articles

We often romanticize childhood as a blissful period, yet being young does not protect against the emotional pain, difficulties, and traumas that many children encounter. Kids may have to navigate issues such as adjusting to a new classroom or online learning, facing bullying from peers, or dealing with family struggles. Coupled with the uncertainties of growing up in a complicated world, childhood can be far from carefree. The capacity to flourish in spite of these hurdles stems from the development of resilience.

Fostering resilience—the capacity to effectively cope with adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or considerable stress—can empower our children to handle stress and navigate feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. Nonetheless, resilience doesn’t imply that children will be free from challenges or distress. Experiencing emotional pain, sadness, and anxiety is normal after significant trauma or personal loss, as well as when we hear about someone else’s struggles or losses.

Foster Connections: Teach your child the significance of engaging with peers, emphasizing the skills of empathy and active listening. Encourage them to reach out to friends either in person or through phone calls, video chats, and texts. Additionally, it’s crucial to establish a strong family network. Building connections offers social support and enhances resilience.
Empower Through Helping Others: Children who feel powerless can gain a sense of empowerment by assisting others. Involve your child in age-appropriate volunteer activities or ask for their help with manageable tasks. At school, brainstorm together about ways they can support classmates or younger students.
Establish a Daily Routine: Maintaining a routine can provide comfort, particularly for younger children who thrive on structure. Collaborate with your child to create a schedule that includes designated times for schoolwork and play. During periods of change or distress, flexibility may be necessary, but maintaining consistency remains essential.
Encourage Breaks: While some anxiety can drive positive action, it’s important to validate all feelings. Teach your child to focus on what they can control and challenge unrealistic thoughts by having them consider the likelihood of worst-case scenarios. Be mindful of their exposure to distressing content, whether through news, online media, or overheard conversations. Although schools have performance obligations, incorporate unstructured time during the day to foster creativity.
Instill Self-Care Habits: Emphasize the importance of basic self-care to your child, such as proper nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep. Ensure they have time for fun and engaging in activities they enjoy. Prioritizing self-care and enjoyment will help children maintain balance and cope with stress more effectively.
Guide Goal Setting: Teach your child to set realistic goals and support them in achieving these one step at a time. Establishing specific goals will help them concentrate on tasks and build resilience in overcoming challenges. In school, help younger children break large assignments into smaller tasks, while acknowledging older children’s milestones on their journey toward bigger goals.
Cultivate a Positive Self-Image: Encourage your child to reflect on past hardships they’ve successfully navigated, reinforcing the idea that these experiences equip them to handle future challenges. Help them learn to trust their problem-solving abilities and decision-making skills. In school, highlight how individual achievements contribute to the overall well-being of the class.
Maintain Perspective and Hope: Even during difficult times, help your child view situations in a broader context, focusing on long-term outcomes. While they may not grasp the future on their own, guide them to understand that good things lie ahead beyond their current challenges. An optimistic outlook enables children to recognize positivity and persevere through tough moments. In school, use historical examples to illustrate that life continues to progress after adverse events.
Encourage Self-Discovery: Challenging times often present valuable learning opportunities. Help your child reflect on what they can learn from their experiences and how adversity reveals their inner strength. In the classroom, facilitate discussions on what each student has discovered after facing difficulties.
Embrace Change: Change can be daunting for children and teens. Help them understand that change is a natural part of life, and new goals can emerge to replace those that are no longer attainable. It’s vital to assess what’s going well and devise a plan for areas that aren’t. In school, highlight how students evolve as they advance through grade levels and discuss the impacts of these changes.