Resilience Guide for Parents and Teachers

The Journey of Resilience

Developing resilience is a personal journey, and you should use your knowledge of your own children to guide them on their journey. An approach to building resilience that works for you or your child might not work for someone else. If your child seems stuck or overwhelmed and unable to use these tips, you may want to consider talking to someone who can help, such as a psychologist or other mental health professional. Turning to someone for guidance may help your child strengthen resilience and persevere during times of stress or trauma.

Resilience and Preschool children

Very young children have only recently acquired the skills of walking and talking, which may leave them unable to articulate their anxieties and fears. While you might assume they are too young to comprehend what’s happening, even toddlers can pick up on distressing events from the news or conversations they overhear. Observe your children for signs of fear and sadness that they struggle to express verbally. Have they become more clingy or are they seeking more hugs than usual? Have they reverted to old habits that you thought they had outgrown? Are they exhibiting increased irritability? These behaviors may indicate that they are feeling the weight of the world around them. Utilize play to help your children voice their fears, and encourage them to express themselves through art or imaginative games. Create family time as a comforting presence for your children: envelop them in the warmth of family closeness and ensure they have ample family interactions. During stressful times, dedicate more moments to playing games, reading together, or simply holding them close.

Resilience and elementary school children

Elementary school children are beginning to establish new friendships and engage in various activities as they develop their identities. As they explore subjects about the world beyond their homes, they look to both teachers and parents for safety and guidance. Ensure that your child has a secure environment, whether at home or school—ideally, both should feel welcoming.

Engage in conversations with your children. When they have questions, respond honestly, providing reassurance through simple statements that demonstrate your commitment to their safety and well-being. Listen attentively to their concerns and fears, letting them know you are there to support them. In the face of frightening news from outside the home, limit their exposure to media coverage, as they may misinterpret what they see or hear.

While it’s important to keep them informed about the world, there’s no need for them to be inundated with constant stories that amplify their fears. Regularly check in on their understanding of what they’ve encountered. Be aware that additional stressors can amplify everyday challenges. Children who typically handle setbacks like a failed test or teasing may overreact with anger or unusual behavior when stressed. Reassure them that your primary concern is their well-being and that you are always there for them.

Resilience and middle school children

Even without significant traumas, middle school can be an especially challenging period for many children as they navigate increased academic demands and new social challenges. They often seek reassurance from teachers, friends, and parents to feel secure. It’s important to nurture empathy and help your child maintain perspective. If your child experiences shifts in social groups, encourage them to recognize that other kids may also feel lonely and confused, helping them to see beyond their current circumstances. Share your own feelings during times of high stress with your child; they may be mature enough to appreciate your thoughts and emotions, as well as the coping strategies you employ. Discuss how your techniques have been beneficial for you while also exploring methods that might resonate with your child.

Resilience and high schoolers

Even though your teenagers may be taller than you, they are still young and can deeply sense the fear and uncertainty stemming from typical teenage pressures and global events. During their adolescent years, emotions can be intense and easily triggered, making it challenging to connect with them. Engage in conversations whenever possible, even if they seem reluctant to talk. The best moments for discussions might occur when you’re driving together or doing chores, as these activities allow your teen to focus on something else while opening up. When they have questions, respond honestly while providing reassurance. Solicit their thoughts on current events and genuinely listen to their responses.

Create a safe space for your teen, whether it’s their bedroom or another comforting area, where they can retreat when needed. High school can amplify emotions, leading to experiences of rejection, teasing, or bullying. A personal space can offer them stability and a sense of ownership. While your children might prefer spending time with friends, be available for family time when they need it, and plan activities that include their friends as well.

When stressful global events occur, encourage your teen to take “news breaks,” whether through television, magazines, newspapers, or online sources. Use these moments as opportunities for meaningful discussions. Teens may often exhibit a sense of invincibility, but deep down, they seek reassurance that everything will be alright. Honest conversations about your own fears and expectations can help them articulate their own concerns. If your teen struggles to express themselves verbally, suggest journaling or using art as a means of communication.

Many teens experience extreme emotional fluctuations due to hormonal changes, and added stress or trauma can exacerbate these feelings. While it’s essential to be empathetic to their emotions, it’s also important to set boundaries when they react to stress with anger or sulkiness. Reassure your child that they will be okay and that you are always looking out for their best interests.