Resilience for teens: 10 tips to build skills for tough times

The advertisements portray teenage life as effortless—everyone appears to be laughing, socializing with friends, and dressed perfectly. However, if you’re a young adult, you understand that life can be quite challenging at times. You may encounter issues ranging from bullying to the loss of a friend or parent. What accounts for the ability of some individuals to endure difficult times and still recover? The key lies in the skills of resilience. The encouraging news is that resilience is not an innate trait; it can be developed. Resilience, which is the capacity to adapt effectively during tough times—such as natural disasters, tragedies, threats, or high stress—explains why some people seem to have a remarkable ability to bounce back while others struggle.

10 tips to build resilience

What are some strategies that can aid you in developing resilience? As you explore these suggestions, remember that everyone’s path to resilience is unique—what proves effective for you might not resonate with your friends.

1. Get together. Engage in conversations with your friends and, yes, even with your parents. Remember that your parents might possess more life experience than you, even if it feels like they can’t relate to your age. They could be worried about you during difficult times, and discussing these issues might be more challenging for them than for you! Don’t hesitate to share your perspective, even if it differs from that of your parent or friend. Ask questions and actively listen to their responses. Connect with your community, whether through a religious organization, sports team, club, or school group.

2. Cut yourself some slack. When challenging situations arise in your life, the stresses associated with them can amplify your daily pressures. Your emotions may already be unpredictable due to hormonal fluctuations and physical changes; during times of tragedy or trauma, this uncertainty can intensify those feelings. It’s important to anticipate this and practice self-compassion, while also extending kindness to your friends.

3. Create a hassle-free zone. Transform your room or apartment into a “hassle-free zone.” This doesn’t mean you need to isolate yourself; rather, your home should serve as a sanctuary, free from stress and worries. However, keep in mind that your parents and siblings may be dealing with their own stresses, especially if something significant has occurred in your life, and they may wish to spend extra time with you during this period.

4. Stick to the program. Navigating high school or college brings a multitude of choices, so let home be your steady anchor. In times of significant stress, establish a routine and adhere to it. While you may be exploring a variety of new experiences, remember the comforting routines that ground you—whether it’s your pre-class rituals, lunchtime outings, or nightly phone calls with a friend.

5. Take care of yourself. Make it a priority to care for yourself—physically, mentally, and spiritually. Don’t forget the importance of sleep. Without it, you may find yourself feeling more irritable and anxious during times when you need to remain sharp. There’s a lot happening, and it will be challenging to navigate if you’re struggling to stay awake.

6. Take control. Even in times of tragedy or significant uncertainty, you can progress toward your goals by taking small steps. During challenging moments, simply getting out of bed and attending school might be all you can manage, yet achieving that small task can make a difference. Focus on what you can control and identify areas that are beyond your influence but where you can take action. Difficult times often leave us feeling powerless—regain some of that power by taking purposeful steps forward.

7. Express yourself. Tragedy and major challenges can evoke a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, and at times, it may feel overwhelming to discuss your feelings with someone. If verbal communication isn’t effective, consider alternative ways to express your emotions, such as starting a journal or creating art.

8. Help somebody. There’s nothing quite like focusing on someone else’s challenges to take your mind off your own. Consider volunteering in your community or at school, tidying up your home or apartment, or assisting a friend with their homework, whether in-person or online.

9. Put things in perspective. The very source of your stress might be the main topic of conversation right now. However, remember that circumstances will eventually shift, and tough times will pass. If you’re questioning your ability to navigate through this, reflect on moments when you confronted your fears—whether it was asking someone out or applying for a job. Explore relaxation techniques such as visualizing a serene place, recalling a favorite song during stressful moments, or simply taking deep breaths to regain your calm. Consider the important aspects of your life that have remained constant, even as the external world evolves. When discussing difficult times, be sure to also mention the good and average experiences.

10. Turn it off. Staying informed is important, and you might even have assignments that involve keeping up with the news. However, the sensational nature of news coverage can often amplify feelings of negativity. To maintain a balanced perspective, try to limit your news consumption, whether it’s through television, newspapers, magazines, or online sources. Watching a news report once keeps you informed, but repeatedly viewing it only heightens stress without offering any new insights.

You can develop resilience over time. However, learning to be resilient doesn’t mean you’ll be free from stress or anxiety. It’s perfectly normal to experience moments of unhappiness— and that’s completely acceptable. Resilience is a personal journey, and everyone will progress at their own pace. You might find some of the resilience strategies mentioned earlier helpful, while your friends might resonate more with different ones. The skills you acquire during challenging times will continue to serve you well even when those difficulties pass, and they are valuable tools to have in your everyday life. Resilience can empower you to be one of those individuals who truly knows how to “bounce back.”